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Really Guys?

I am going to lay out a rant today about my adventures in the fitness gym I work out at in Chicago. Find humor, I dare you. 

Sauna guidelines

If I am in the sauna alone: I stretch, meditate, work on breathing techniques, shadow box, run in place, snapchat, and even go mostly naked..... ok Im naked and it gets weird. 

If I am in a shared sauna: I SIT THE FUCK STILL AND HANG OUT

I do not know what is going on with dudes in the locker rooms and saunas at these fitness gyms but some of the shit I have seen is ridiculous and really fucking funny. What I don't understand is; how did we get so comfortable as guys in public places? I shower at the gym. I also change my clothes and sometimes there is some dick hanging out action. I get that. That is not what I am talking about though. I am talking about dudes parading around from the minute the step in the locker room just guns a blazin. Below is a list of shit I have seen in the last 3 months at my gym.

-90% of guys are naked in the sauna 

90% guys are naked for more than changing in the locker room

-Ass less panties in the sauna ( don't believe me? I took a pic, message me) 

-guys doing their hair for work BUTT FUCKING NAKED IN THE MIRROR

- Full conversations with 3 guys, all naked standing by the benches in the locker area

-Dudes just bending over spreading there butt as people tie their shows on the bench 2 feet behind them

-2 guys helping each other stretch in the sauna NAKED

The list is probably 10 times longer than this. This was just a taste. Stay tuned as I will be documenting said ridiculousness in the future. 

 

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NEVER AGAIN

Whats up to the mothers of you savages. I have longer story for you tonight. It is a write up I did on my Facebook page about my cornering experience from this past weekend. Check it out..

What a awesome but quick trip to Davenport and Caged Aggression MMA last night. Mike Goodwin had to channel his inner fighter himself this week and over come more adversity than any promoter I've ever seen on fight week. Always a great show, regardless. I made the trip to corner long time training partner and friend Jake Childres's professional debut with one of my most influential coaches, Ryan Blackorby. Jake fought like shit. For a round. He then woke up and had dug himself a hole but we knew Jake was tough enough to fight out of it. The 2nd was an instant classic. Jake got hurt with a body shot against the cage and somehow managed to survive for about 40 seconds with his opponent stalking and punishing him and throwing bombs at him. Needless to say Jake was bleeding. He was tired but surviving turned out to be the blessing. Jake finally moved off of the cage and was able to get some distance to settle back in. At that point Ryan Blackorby called to Jake for a circle to the right and a straight left hand ( he's a lefty) and Jake obliged. It landed and you could see his opponent not know what hit him. He had " blew his load" so to speak and now didn't have an answer for Jake. At this point Jake had 2 min left in the round and he came alive like the savage he is. He started tagging his opponent with almost every shot and finally getting the takedown we had been looking for. Jake went to work and laid a beating down. Got the mount and almost finished the fight with a rear naked choke but the other guy was saved by the bell. Now I have cornered a few hundred fights over the years. I have never yelled like I yelled in between the 2nd and 3rd rounds. We could see Jakes opponent was exhausted and could not stop Jake. He simplify needed to find that savage within himself and let it out. I told him if he gets 1 takedown he would end this fight. I normally don't yell in the corner and or make promises like that one to fighters because you never know. At the moment I didn't care. I was watching a friend let this animal out in this cage in Davenport against a trained killer. It was one of the best turnarounds I have ever seen in my life and the best I've ever seen live. Jake was hurt, bloody , tired and I'm sure had his own doubts. BUT he never stopped. Round 3 went beautiful. The pendulum shifted as far right to left as you could imagine and Jake walked forward throwing heaters and landing them. He scored an early takedown right in our corner and went to work. He maneuvered from position to position all while laying down a beating. Finally with a few minutes left Jake was able to find the position he wanted and score his favorite choke, the Da'rce. The fight was over. You know it was amazing when you lose your voice and your corner people are hi fiving and hugging. I was yelling in the cage at Jake. I honestly could not believe what we had just been a part of. Amazing really. Thank you to Ryan Blackorby and especially Jake Childres for never stopping, listening to us and finally for having me in his corner. 

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Stories From the Road Pt. 1

Whats up you freaky fucks? I am going to frequently tell funny, crazy and plain dumb stories from the "road". Realistically,  this will include stories from the gyms, fights and tales from traveling from show to show over the years. What a fucking doozie I have for you savages first.....

Circa 2011 and I am training in Canton Il at the infamous Silverbacks/ Central Illinois Combat Club. Over the years we had a lot of younger guys and girls come and go. Most of which never fought or fought 1 or 2 times and never showed back up again.. Many of them were nice people but they were delusional about who they were and what they were capable of. This story is about one of those kids. 

We had this younger guy ( maybe 18-20) and he was not very good. Great guy with a heart of gold but he sucked. He was not athletic or even in good shape. He really wanted to test himself and even competed 2 times I believe. It is middle/ late December and Christmas is fast approaching. It is a Monday night and Christmas is 2-3 days away. I look over and I see this younger, chubby, super nice kid drilling submissions on the ground and he has a cut off rash guard on. He has a huge ( golf ball sized) ringworm on his shoulder. So, being the dick I am. I start yelling to get the fuck off the mat now! He tells me he is not going to sweat and have any contact with anyone else. I have to explain to him it does not work like that and we go back and forth for a few minutes. It finally comes down to me yelling that if he doesn't get off the mats right now I was going to fuck him up. This finally got him off the mats and I went as far to tell him that if I got ring worm in the next few says I was going to beat him so badly he would never train again. He was clearly shook and I was super fucking serious as I had a fight in early January that I would not be able to fight in if I got ringworm that bad.

As you can probably guess, I got ringworm. Not only did I get ringworm but It showed on my skin first on Christmas morning. ON MY FUCKING FACE. HUGANTIC RED RINGS OF IM GOING TO KILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

Fast forward a few days and the first training session after Christmas as I have been scrambling to the Dr. for shots, using medicated creams and even scratching it open and pouring bleach on them rings, I am praying this kid shows up. He walks in the door. I am basically in the same mindset as the cage but I know this kid has nothing for me. I tell him to " suit up" meaning put on your sparring gear. I told him what happened and he was dumb enough to stay and spar me. I set the clock at 5 min. I then beat the shit out of this kid for 2- 5 min rounds really badly. I think I was pulled off by other guys in the gym 3 times in 2 rounds as he was TKO'D. I remember beating on him really bad and was not tryin to put him to sleep but make him take the beating for as long as he could. He would go down and I would pick him up and make him keep going. I was yelling at him the entire time and also telling him if he stopped he had to leave and never came back. He took it and took it. One of the worst I have ever beat anyone's ass in my life and the only thing that saved him was the shin guards and big gloves. 

I know I sound like a POS arrogant egomaniac. I was. That is not why I chose this story though. I chose this one because crazy gym stories happen every day all over the world. That gym bond you have with anyone you train hard with or go to war with is deep. The kid in the story works at the Walmart in my hometown and I still see and talk to him to this day. Its all part of the game. 

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Why So Offended?

We are no longer offended because something's offense. We are offended to educate and push our ideology onto others. Intent matters. 

Stay Woke. 

 

Smitty. 

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Foundation of Health

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Foundation of Health

 

I am constantly trying to educate myself on nutrition and healthy lifestyles in general . While I do thIs I like to consider my past experiences and my current knowledge and analyze the two differences. From there I like to figure out an intelligent, progressive avenue that allows me to grow but not forget what my positive aspects I have acquired thus far. This is very important IMO, so you are not just jumping from fad to fad. With that said; this is going to be some thoughts and Ramblings about what I believe is the foundation for a healthy lifestyle.   

Eat real food- if you believe in an elimination diet ( vegan, paleo) where you eliminate whole, organic foods from your diet, or not, one thing is a must in my mind. Eat real foods that have grown from nature. 

Activity- Everyone likes to believe their way of sport or activity is the best or is enough for them, but what this really comes down to on a base human level is : be active. This means mentally and physically. Do things that are challenging mentally. Never stop learning and growing. Find your passion and educate yourself on it. Physically- move. Move your ass. Most people are not going to reach an optimal level of movement in their lifetimes for more than a few years, but again the most important part of this day in age just remains active. This does not mean working 8 hours and going home and sitting all night. Unless your laboring 8 hours a day of hard physical work, this lifestyle is not enough.  Push yourself and find your limits. If it is hard but you're not injured than do it. 

Rest- have to find ways to relax. Everyone knows sleep is important. Sleep varies with different people, however most people do not seem to grasp the idea of resting while awake. My favorite way of this is meditation, nature and walking. A lot of rest comes down to anxiety and by this I mean being able to control your thoughts enough to focus on the present. Not 10 min ago or 5 days from now, but the actual second you're living in. This takes effort but will also give your mind a break from the worry and allow you to relax more. 

Know yourself - This is really important to gaining the optimal level in physical and mental health. This means removing the guilt that you feel from other humans and yourself. Embrace who you are. Figure out the things you do not like about yourself and really think about it.... is that because of society and learned behaviors and norms or do you really not like doing that thing? This is a huge problem in our world today. The biggest example I can give of this is marriage and raising a family. So many people in our world feel, this magical clock in their minds that tell them that they are at a certain age and they are SUPPOSED to do this or do that. Most of the time this includes being in a relationship and having children. Turns out, that is not the case. Know yourself. If your'e a savage and enjoy staying up late and sleeping with 5 other people at the same time, who in the fuck is anyone to tell you that is wrong. Embrace this and remove the guilt. Next point is to figure out your triggers in life. What makes you happy, sad and what do you not care about.

Lastly, take these foundations and know what you can and can't eat to function better. Figure out how much sleep you need to wake up feeling great and ready to live a great life.  Obviously each area I have highlighted are major topics in and of themselves. These topics can and should be broken down and addressed individually. I believe this is a fairly common practice and people get hung up on working on one at a time and trying to be an expert. In my opinion, I have gained the most ground on my foundation when I work on all of them a little bit at a time with small changes. I track the progress in my mind or by writing it down and get after it. The result will come. Remove the guilt of being a human being and realize that there is not correct way to do this thing. We are all just a bunch of really evolved animals still figuring this thing out. No body is perfect, but everyone is born with the right to a good life. Go earn it. 

Disclaimer: I am no fucking doctor, nor am I even smart ( clearly with my grammar and writing skills) however I have a passion for activity and living a good life. If I have said anything that offends you then I believe you need to stop being a soft pussy before you get swallowed up by the hate in this world.  SAVAGE ON

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GUYS ARE SAVAGES

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GUYS ARE SAVAGES

What is up you got damn savages? I have a quick hitter for you all on this post. It comes after a trip to the gym this morning before work......

So I have 2 different gyms I belong to. A Muay Thai gym and a Fitness gym. My fitness gym is located in the Uptown area of Chicago. Over the last few months  I have really noticed how absolute savage this gym really is. It is actually more savage in a lot of ways then the Muay Thai gym I train at. What I mean by this is the DUDES.  Guys are so god damn ridiculous when it comes to working out in the gym in general but especially when they see a hot chick near. 

This morning I saw 2 girls that looked like sisters and more importantly to this story they were attractive. Really god damn attractive. In my mind they immediately were like the Kardashian's of the gym. Wearing nice clothes, massive boobs and asses and every dude in the weight area took a moment of 10 to gawk awkwardly at them. This gave me the moment to step back and observe how primal  we truly are. Guys instantly postured up, started grabbing more weight, trying to talk to them and really just acting like an Apes trying to find something to jab its dick in. Even crazier than that I realized I wasn't just thinking about trying to impress them but I was looking around at a bunch of meatheads and thinking " they have no idea that I can fuck up every single one of them" and " if this was 200 years ago they would be fucking dead" THAT IS SAVAGE my friends. I was feeling confident so I started walking their way and as I approached ,one of them turned and smiled at me.... I shit my pants and darted another direction!!!!  Fuck that shit! I will fight a gym full of savages but do not ask me to talk to Kim and Chloe.  

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DON'T BE THAT GUY

Before streaming sites were popular, before the Amazon fire stick and before UFC fight pass fight fans simply had to rent PPV fight cards or they had to go to a bar or restaurant who was showing the PPV that night. This brings me into this weeks topic. DON'T BE THAT GUY. 

Let me explain a little bit better.... it is in every man's DNA to believe they can fight. In MMA more so than any other combat sport fight fans (especially douchie looking 18-34 year olds) believe they could or would be able to compete with the trained professionals they enjoy watching. There is always that guy at the local bar that is talking about what he would do in a certain situation or how he would beat that fighters ass in the streets. As a fan before I was ever a fighter I completely understand the excitement however I do not understand yelling at fighters when they make a obvious mistake or being so delusional you honestly think you could do better. Again, DON'T BE THAT GUY.

To make this make more sense I am going to draw a few comparisons. Thinking you could beat up a professional fighter is like thinking because you played high school football you could walk out of the bar and start for the New England Patriots. No. You cannot. 99.9% of people not already playing a competitive sport are not going to be able to play in that said sport fresh off the couch. It is like having a lemonade stand when you were 11 and thinking you can walk into a Wall Street firm and start directing traffic and making bank bro. 

Please get excited as fuck, have your favorite fighter, hell even wear cool fight clothes and support combat sports. Yell all you want but please do not believe you will beat up professional fighters because you wrestled for 2 years in high school and your street record is 163-0.  Stop being delusional. Please. I used to enjoying going places to watch fights and now its really difficult without wanting to headbutt morons in front of their boys and girl friends. If there is one piece of advice I can give a fight fan who gets excited watching the sport it is this....If you cant spot THAT GUY at the bar then you are THAT GUY.

SAVAGE ON

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MMA THE GATEWAY DRUG TO SUCCESS

What is up savages? It's Smitty here host of Half Assed Mma on The Big Perm Show. I am going to start throwing some ramblings together on this lovely website and we shall identify said ramblings as "blogs." In this first installment I wanted to dive a little bit deeper into the crazy world and life of MMA fighters. Specifically I wanted to write about a lesser known side of MMA (the dark and light side of retiring from competition). 

As in most professional sports we often hear about the struggles athletes have in transitioning from competition. This usually includes financial difficulties, depression, drug abuse and the list goes on and on. This holds true with professional fighters but in a different manner than most wealthy and famous athletes from other professional sports. For one, majority of professional fighters are not wealthy and or famous. This can make the transition both more difficult and easier depending on the wiring of the fighter. In my experience it honestly comes down to the intelligence of being able to identify the areas needed to have a seamless transition into a new life essentially. The number one reason I have found for fighters not being able to transition well is Identity. Almost every professional fighter identifies as a professional fighter. Not every other aspect of their lives but solely as a professional fighter. This causes so many fighters the heartache that ends up leading them to drug abuse and depression.  This leads me to the other side of retiring...

The competitors that are able to retain the discipline, work ethic and all of the attributes it takes to successful fighter are usually able to find a healthy transition and prosper into other avenues of life successfully.  For most fighter the real struggle comes when having to realize they need to "move on" so to speak and identify as something different. By having to drop the identity they lose track of the attributes that carried them to success in the first place. However the fighters that can realize this as an issue and stay out in front of the problem and allow themselves to hold on to the amazing attributes that training and competing as a professional fighter afforded them. In my honest opinion, MMA much like high level armature wrestling lead the way in said attributes. There is something about pushing yourself way the fuck past your limits on a daily basis that really strengthens a person's mind and consciousness. This is why I believe with the massive growth of MMA we will see more and more of these types of savages emerge over the next 5-10 years. MMA can and should be a gateway drug to success. 

Don't grow to expect this kind of seriousness in every post as majority of these ramblings will have to do with ridiculous stories from my years competing and just moronic thoughts that can easily be debunked by anyone with all of their brain cells left!  It is Saturday, go do some savage shit! 

Ryan Smith 

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