I hadn't smoked weed inna bout 10 years .. so I figured why the fuck not ? everything else was going ta shit right now imma smoke me gotdamn weed get stoned and enjoy my afternoon.. only if it had worked out that easy
That first stoning after a lay off can be a 3 alarm meltdown or maybe that's just me .. either fucking way I should have known better than to just jump off head first .. but ive never been known to half ass getting fucked up .. if im gonna get fucked up im getting all the way fucked up.. which is why I don't get fucked up anymore im allergic to it .. I break out in handcuffs
No big deal a few tokes im good .. only problem was I was at work it was my lunch hour and I hadn't been stoned in the better part of a decde
I walk out of work straight apprehensive .. everyone I worked with knew damn well I didn't smoke but I knew for a fact that if I walked out into the parking lot I had my choice of cars people where getting ripped in it was only a matter of who I wanted to smoke with and who could keep their fucking cock holster closed .. I walked through the parking lot with the confidence of a seasoned fiend or at least I hoped o my eyes darting around like I was a serve in search of a 10 dollar rock .. what the fuck !!! I was already paranoid and hadn't hit shit yet
I spotted the silver car I was looking for with tented windows.. in my mind I was laughing a nervous laugh and saying these fuckers are gonna be freaked out when I tap on this window and tell em let me hit that shit its gonna be a fucking hoot !!! I tap on the window and it rolls down .. a man and a woman sitting up front and another dude in the back seat passing a blunt around .. I don't smoke blunts but whatever .. whats up V.I.C the passenger ask me .. its my home boy $ yea we call him money lol fucking nic names right .. lemme hit that blunt !!! he laughs his girlfriend in the driver seat laughs and Day Day in the back says yea right quit bullshitting .. yea we call him day day .. im like no bullshit lemme hit .. $ hands the blunt too me and his expression that he has on his face says yea right vic is fucking with us but here ya go .. he says hit it then ..
STOP HOLD UP !! I should have known not to hit that fucker too hard or I was gonna be stoned at work and I haven't been stoned on a job since my early twenties I shoulda known better but I was like fuck it hit that shit champ
I stick my head into the window lift the blunt to my lips and hit that shit like my is Willie Snoop and they don't say shit they are shocked to there very core cause ive been saying no for years .. I hit that shit like I got Michael Phelps lungs .. ah fuck its a fucking grape flavored blunt wrap mother fucker I hate flavored blunt wraps doesn't anyone roll with backwoods or Havana tampas anymore not tomention blunts waste too much weed .. but it aint my weed so fuck it I hit thsat shit again like im sucking poison outta my best friends ass cheek ..
When I hit it that hard the second time I knew right then I fucked up .. it hit the bottom of my lungs like a ton of bricks I held it in as long as I could and passed it back and started coughing like I had fucking TB ... woooo buddy ya gotta cough to get off and I knew I was gonna blast off .. they almost said as one in the car I cant believe I cant believe you hit that .. I cleared my eyes from the coughing and said .. Grape blunt wrap really ? what the fuck is wrong with yall .. grape blunt wrap I mutter fuck me .. I knew right then I had about 15 minutes to get my desk inside work and see what this high was gonna do to me .. I laugh my buddy $ laughs rolls the window back up I do an about face and march back into work with ohhhh fuck bouncing around in my head what did I do
Along the way I run into another home boy sitting out back of work smoking a cigarette im like what up dude .. hes like nuttin whats up .. im like chillin just smoked some weed .. he stopped what he was gonna say and said you did what ? I said smoked some weed .. he laughed and said oh fuck with a smile on his face and said you don't smoke weed I was like I did today he laughed again and said shit its just weed fuck it .. fuck it I repeat ,, it had been about 10 minutes and I could feel that cold creeping up on me you get and I was like ah damn let me get back to my desk before I get too fucking high
I get to my desk and I swear word had beat me back to the office I was high and everyone was looking at me with an oh shit smile on their face.. I was like oh man im getting really really high .. eye sight was narrowing my face was cold and I started to salivate .. my buddy and his girlfriend walked in the back door came down the back row of the office where we all sat out our desk next too each others ... im like hey $ im getting super fucking doper high .. he was like youll be alright just chill out
I was so fucking stoned I started melting into my office chair and for some reason I wanted to lay my head on my desk I started feeling woozy .. I was higher than giraffe pussy !!!! higher than astronaut nuts.. amd I couldn't seem to quit slobbering and get my head off my desk like it was velcroed to it .. my other homie dough boy popped up from the partition on the other side of me and said what up vic I said dude im so fucking high I don't know how imma make it .. he laughed like it was the greatest shit he ever heard ,, and said really ? im like yea really mother fucker im stoned like a like a middle eastern whore ... he snickered and said this is gonna be great
As stoned as I was slobbering on my desk with my head down queasy as a mother fucker all I could think was I have no gotdamn idea whatsoever how im going to get through this pre shift meeting much less ta next break 2 hours from then .. so my stoned ass mind came up with the greatest plan ever .. tell em I had some bad hardees for lunch and im sick
psssst ? $ .. hes like what ? psssst $ he laughed as he said what again .. I said dude im fucking high as the hubble telescope hes like no way .. im like im fucking ripped tater chip .. hes like youll be ok .. in my mind im like save me im fucking in hell .. but instead I go pssst again and say .. if someone comes back here and wants to know whats wrong with me tell em I had bad hardees for lunch and im sick .. he laughs and says bad hardees ? I said yes gotdamn it bad hardees.. he says your acting like you've never been stoned before .. Isaid fuck you just do it ... im sitting there fucked to the gills and all this mother fucker can do is do whatever he can to torment the shit outta me slamming shit around poking me asking me the stupidest questions ever ,, he said you wanna know what the funniest shit ever would be ? I mumbled what cock sucker with my mouth on my desk .. the guy that never smokes weed getting fired for smoking weed .. thatd be the greatest shit ever .. oh yea fucking great dick lick just tell em bad hardees
we get through most of the quarter with my head on my desk and ill be gotdamn if I don't see the boss coming up the row where we sat and im like oh fuck .. she stops beside my desk and ask me whats wrong .. $ chimes in and says vic ate some bad hardees hes been sick since lunch .. bad hardees ? she ask .. yea bad hardees I mumble .. shes like youll be ok get on the phone .. I was like this bitch .. dough boy pipes up from across the way bad hardees my ass id pay good money for that kinda bad hardees right now ...
And that was where the legend of bad hardees started and anytime anyone gets too fucked up people say they musta had some bad hardeess
Vic Nasty 614