The main reason Santa is so jolly... Is because he knows where all the naughty girls live..     George Carlin

My phone chimed for an incoming text .. its after 10 what the fuck !! .. I grab my phone and looked at who the text was from in order to judge how my attitude was gonna be .. I looked at it and swallowed hard the text said.. im down stairs .. the first thought that ran through my mind was ohhh fuck !! I had been dreading this text and wanting it at the same time for months now

My mind raced in a million different directions in a damn millisecond .. my heart started beating out a death metal drum solo while my breathing suddenly became audible .. i had no idea what to text back for some reason for a change my mind was a total fucking blank .. so i fought to text anything so in all my smoothness i text back .. what the hell are you doing down stairs dot dot dot .. the text that came back a blink later said .. are you alone ?

Yea im fucking alone i scream in my head and you know that i just saw you earlier in the day and mentioned that and you said ok like it was nothing .. right then i should have bailed out .. i glaced at my phone and it said 10:15 .. yup just me whats up ? another text comes back.. Can i come up ? here is my second chance to bail the fuck out and just text back no.. take your ass home we shouldn't do this .. but who am i kidding im gonna tell her to come up .. and that's exactly what i do..

A knock on my door and my heart immediately wants to jump out of my chest and run away down the block .. Don't be a bitch i tell myself .. cast a glace around my apartment to make sure things were in order .. the incense was going i lit 2 seconds before .. INCENSE !!! jesus what is this 1976 !! Pandora was playing some tunes on my computer speakers... the light was low .. ive lost my gotdamn mind!! .. i had just taken a shower so i knew my man machinery was in fine clean working order .. i walk to the door clear my throat and try to calm myself so as not to look like the bitch i felt like

I open the door .. and there she is in the yellow porch light a whirl wind ive been trying to avoid for months .. green eyes looking at me with a worried look on her face.. automatically the smell of her jumps on me .. the shine of her long blond hair the tight jeans and big ass are a battle at this moment i cant win and fuck it im not even gonna fight it .. i smile at her reach out my hand and she takes it with a smile that could make angles fall .. i pull her in kiss her and shut the door

This tell is nothing without context .. She was married .. and at this period of my life i didn't give a shit one way or another .. she was intoxicating dangerous and built to handle a heavy weight .. theres no excuse for being wrong .. but if im crawling through the desert haven't had a drink of water in forever and you hand me a drink.. im taking the fucking drink and im probably not gonna give two shits about who gave it too me

It had been 6 months since my wife and i had split .. and it was one of the top 3 saddest times i had ever saw in life to that point other than my parents dying its the saddest thing ive ever been through .. ive only loved one woman in my life and 7 years later i still love her .. true love never dies it only changes and ill always love her and she will always love me and if i needed something to this day she would do what she could to help me and i her but i pissed on the torch i carried for her long ago

But this woman came along right or wrong .. And renewed in me that i was still a man worthy of something no matter how bogus it was .. i didn't care if she was married i wasn't worried about pissed off husbands or what people thought of me .. i needed straight unadulterated pussy and the rush of doing the wrong thing .. to know that a beautiful woman would fuck with if not fuck up her life to be with me .. and i pulled out every trick i ever had .. the charm the ego stroking told her everything she needed to hear made her feel safe .. itd been a game i played for awhile and the payoff was amazing i don't apologize .. i knew it was wrong still do .. she didn't care about anything but getting off and i made sure it happened .. of course there was the the whole i cant believe im here i don't want you to think bad about me conversation lol i assured her i didn't give two fucks .. and that was what she needed .. and it turned into stolen moments here and there .. a quickie here a quickie there .. feelings became involved and i become the asshole that i am .. do i feel bad ? lol not in the least.. she got what she wanted and she was emotionally and physically unavailable and it turned into nothing but a memory of what could've been when it gets dark and quite some nights..

She was the one who saved me ... V Nasty 614